Wednesday 31 August 2011

Wednesday 31st August 2011 (Preseason Round 3)

Well still happily maintaining my weight so a very happy camper :) - I've pulled back on my training a little and only do my "hard core" training in the afternoons at the moment and not my little half hour walk etc in the morning and I haven't done any cool incidentals like major distance runs or bike rides. I did do 3 days of 10km runs in the morning last week as well as my arvo training though as I felt HORRIFIC after a big weekend in Brisbane. After a fair few champers at the finale party, and feeling horribly hungover on Sunday I treated myself to a major breakfast and then for a extra treat later in the day thought I'd have one of my old favourite treats of a apple pie with cream and strawberry milkshake.... made it through perhaps half at most and was a very very sick girl... body completely rejected it..... it tasted nice for what it was, but it didn't feel like a treat or reward... it felt like punishment.... feeling green thinking about it.

In saying that though I did have a few extra treats through the week that I wouldn't normally have like a piece of birthday cake and some really lovely lollies.... My weight went up a little, but straight back down within 2 days of proper eating. I'm completely back to the healthy wholesome person that I've come to be though. There is a niggling inner voice telling me to have more more more treats.... but I truly don't want them as they aren't feeling like "treats"... Seriously need a new word other than "treat".....Think I might research this strange voice that actually tries to convince you to have something that you don't even want....

Round 3 preseason tasks are on track. I've set my goals, which has been very difficult as I overachieved my goals in the last round and am happy as I am so without wanting to lose weight etc I have focused more on getting my head right and try and work out things like the whole mind trying to convince me that I want something when I don't and the obsessive compulsive eater that has appeared here and there in the preseason weeks.

As for my commitment well;

"My commitment is to maintain the work that I’ve done in Round 2. I will stay around 56kg with a 2kg leeway. I will lose a further 2% body fat. I will build my social confidence by attending at least 1 group session a week being either a gym class or a social event. I will be a role model to others by walking the walk and inspiring by doing and not talking. I will be training 6 days a week per Mish’s schedule and following Mish’s eating plan. I will keep a daily food diary and blog/share my achievements as well as any breakdowns along the way. I will continue to be the best version of myself I’ve ever been in my life. I am a woman of my word. I never break a promise to a loved one and hence will not break this promise to myself because I deserve it."

I'm seriously looking forward to getting my new training and eating plans.... well mainly the training plans. I'm loving making my own eating plans as I actually use everything I buy instead of half a vegetable and the rest rots or is rabbit food..... That is something I will do differently this round. I'll follow Mish's eating plan, but I'll be making 2 serves of dinner and have the left overs for lunch so it's a bit less "stressful" and I will actually use an entire veggie instead of a half a capsicum and such...

Well I'll leave it there as I'm starving now and want a cup o tea too.....

Food for thought - When you look in the mirror do you truly, honestly like what you see. Think deeper than the outer shell as well.... would you like to make changes? have you started making changes? what would it take for a change to come ???? or are you happy with what you see/feel ?? :)

XXX

Thursday 18 August 2011

Thursday 18th August 2011 - Preseason Round 3

Hello blogger world !!!!

It felt way too weird not updating after my weekly weigh in so after my reward on the weekend of my completely out of proportion steak and lobster dinner... Om nom nom nom... and glass of wine.... As of yesterday morning, I did actually gain 600gm taking me to 56.5kg.... I must say I am a little confused over this as my treat meal wasn't overly excessive and I didn't have garlic bread or anything before or dessert after etc... Mind you I feel a bit bigger too.... maybe water retention ??? who knows.... it is what it is. Since the treat on the weekend, I've been my usual overachieving self with my food intake and training and have tagged on a little extra training here and there to "make up for it".... Probably why I'm a little confused as to why I haven't drifted back down in weight... Mind you this morning I had lost 400gm of the weight..... anyway I'm not worried, just intrigued.... amazing machine this human body, but sometimes rhyme and reason seem to go out the window...

Anyways I want to use today as a recognition of my past/results/changes and my future (bring it round 3!!!) so today's post might be a little lengthy.... I want to recognise the past and move on to the next phase of ME !!! :)

What Round 2 Did To Me;

Well besides the actual statistics that I've already given you about my weight/fitness and strength I wanted to share a few of the other changes... i) I use to be on a constant weight roller coaster. I'd train and eat properly for about 3 months and get into shape (nothing anywhere near what I've achieved with Mish - lowest weight I've EVER got down to was 63kg and I was a happy girl then so you can imagine my delight now) and then for the following 6 months I would just throw everything out the window and eat and eat and eat and not train and basically trash my beautifully built temple and use it as a night club then once I got over that magical 70kg mark again I'd get the broom out and start cleaning up the temple again. Looking back...omg !!!... that was so exhausting and emotionally draining. I'd hate myself for what I'd done and beat myself up, HOW MEAN !!!. This has changed. It's stopped. The new me will NOT do that. That's not an affirmation or me trying to tell myself that, I simply am not that person anymore. ii) I'm not a doormat anymore. My entire life I've stepped back and let others have what I've wanted and I've gone without. Even for the essay question from Mish of "why do you deserve a prize" I started as my usual selfless self.... thinking along the lines of "I've already got my reward, my new body" and "others deserve it more than me as they've done the hard work too and had more obstacles".... then I thought "HANG ON A MINUTE" I do deserve recognition for my achievements...... Major change.... Actually saying "yes I do deserve this".... Basically putting myself on par with everyone else instead of always below or subservient... I think this is huge... Over 30 years of stepping aside, but no longer. I'm still the meek, mild and tentatively introverted me... but I'm certainly a LOT more assertive (and I don't need a drink to do it :)) iii) I'm not mean to myself anymore !!! I use to always say horrid things to myself, 'you're not worth it, you'll always have that fat arse, you've had hail damage since you were 14, it's not going anywhere and you're wasting your time'... along with choice names like loser and failure... I'm nice to me now. I deserve that. I congratulate myself on great work outs, I tell myself that the dress looks lovely on me.... all the good stuff... and when I hear that nasty bully try and hurt me I laugh and tell it to grow up and stop being jealous of my wonderful achievements..... lol iv) I'm not an emotional eater anymore, but an emotional trainer.... yup that's right, instead of working the leftovers out of the fridge I'm working my arse off at the gym and it's by far more rewarding and I certainly feel better for it v) I can control my binges. I CHOOSE now whether to let myself have something or not. Food does not control me anymore. I may still think of food more often than a normal being, but instead of a glimmer of a craving and I'm hitting the snacks, I react so much more maturely and stop, breathe, recognise whether I'm hungry or craving, where is the craving coming from etc.... and I DECIDE to have it or not... not the mindless munchfest that use to be me vi) This may sound odd, but I can actually buy clothes that fit... even online !! I was a size to a size and a half out of proportion from the top of my body to the bottom so dresses and swimwear never fit properly... Hard to get a dress with a size 12/14 arse and a 10 top :)... no longer... same size all the way through now and very very happy to buy clothes... use to HATE clothes shopping and found it humiliating... Big smiles (and expenses) now though :)

What About Round 3?

Well I think my goal setting may just be a little harder this time as I overachieved in Round 2, but I want to keep this temple maintained and look after it. I don't mind if I get more/less muscly etc, but as long as it's maintained and my clothes fit and I remain fit, strong and healthy, then happy days ahead. To be honest I didn't realise just how different I would look at the end of this. I thought I'd look smaller, more firm and less fat... I did not in anyway expect muscle.... I like :).... where was I? ahh yes, this round.... I want to spend a lot more time in the mind gym in Round 3 and push myself beyond what I find to be some really uncomfortable situations. I get very very anxious and scared of group situations. Whether it's talking, training, meeting, greeting, personal or work related, face to face, online, video or on the phone.... I'm socially awkward. Well.....I FEEL very awkward and uncomfortable. I have to push myself to socialise in these situations because I'm so fearful of coming across as an idiot or offending someone and mainly I think people are judging me or laughing at me. So more group classes will be done and I have a goal of AT LEAST 1 a week and not just RPM where I can hide in the dark on my bike. Actual interactive sessions.... Time to come out of the shell. Gawd watch out world !!!! On another note I want to achieve 3 push ups with claps in a row as well because it's coming across as my Achilles heel and also wide grip chin ups unassisted. I can do close reverse grip ones pretty easily, but the wide grip ones are still challenging.... but not for long ;)

Well I think that's enough... If you've made it this far through... thank you and well done :) XX

So to wrap it up. I think my Round 2 results were phenomenal I lost over 8kg, over 7% in fat, 2 dress sizes, over 40cm in total from the body and a bucket load of emotional baggage... The photos don't show that.... holy snapping turtles.... over 40cm off my body !!! NO WONDER I "THREW OUT" 4 RUBBISH BAGS OF CLOTHES THAT DON'T FIT !!!! Yay to me, pat on the back.... (there's that self recognition again :), better than "but look at all the work you have left to do spongebob arse!!!".... hey....)

And Round 3 is getting mind fit and a few strength challenges too.... So very very content and happy with life right now...

OH !!!!! My 3 month goal for Round 2 was to get pro pics done.... I chickened out (of course), but am now back in the game and have to committed to getting them done within the next 6 to 8 weeks... just have to get some other stuff over and done with first.... so YAY !!! another goal on the road to being accomplished.... and I came out of my shy shell to commit to them..... So watch this space... It might have some pretty cool pics !!!

Thanks for hanging in there with me all this way and from now on it's all systems go for Round 3 and moving forward from Round 2....

XXX

Food for thought - When was the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back for something ???? Do you think it's about time ??? Do it.... It feels rather nice.... X

Monday 15 August 2011

Monday 15th August 2011 (All done and dusted.... well for now :) )

Well that's Round 2 of 12wbt for 2011 all done and over... sadly enough.... I finished with my "300" workout which I completed in about 26min (happy days) and then on Sunday as a last "Hurrah" did a 15.54km run.... Very happy with the run as I've done absolutely no running training although it would have been a good idea as I'm rather sore today and I don't just mean the blisters on my toes.... Hamstrings and calves are absolutely singing.... might do an upper body workout tonight and give the legs a rest....

It's been a wonderful rollercoaster and I loved every..... well MOST minutes of it...lol... I'm still in my "after glow" and continue smiling at the thought of what I've achieved and my breakdowns and breakthroughs throughout the last 12 weeks.... phew there's been some emotions there.....

I've signed up and am all ready for Round 3.... so I look forward to even more challenges ;)

Watch this space, more achievements and updates to come XXX

Thursday 11 August 2011

Wednesday 10th August 2011, Week 12, Day 79, Final Weigh In for Round 2

Well well well..... where to start.....

Lets start with the stats shall we.....

Final weigh in 55.9kg - total weight loss this round 8.6kg, which is 13.33% of me...

Chest - 79cm - Lost 5cm in total since week 1

Waist - 64cm - 11cm gone in total

Hips - 84cm - 10cm gone in total

Thighs - 49.5cm each - 7.5cm gone from each leg in total

Body Fat - 18.9% - which equates to 7.3% loss over the 12 weeks..... which is mind blowing !!!! I can't believe it... It was my main focus to be leaner and not a skinny fat person.... Very very happy..... today I'm definitely shufflin !!!!!

When it comes to my fitness;

4min 25sec for my 1km run time trial. Now this is 28sec SLOWER than week 8 (but 1min 6sec faster than the start).... but I've done it, processed it, discarded all the excuses and now own it. Yes I didn't do very well at all this time, but it's not the end of the world and it gives me something to aim for next time.....

I did 6min 49sec on my wall sit which was 2min 3sec better than week 8 and 3min 46sec longer than my first attempt at the start of the round.

49 push ups in 1min off my toes, which is 9 more than week 8 and my first attempt in week one I could only manage 19 off my toes and 22 off my knees.... damn I was aching for 50.... just couldn't quite push it out.... next time ;).

+12cm on sit and reach test which is 1cm more than week 8, and 8cm better than week 1....

Another little achievement I have (thanks to my body composition scales) are in week 4 (when I received the scales) I had a metabolic age of 21 (good for a 33 year old), but now I have the metabolic age of a 12 year old !!!! Hell yeah...

And my visceral fat (the stuff around my organs not the stuff just under the skin) is now a level 1.... which is the lowest it can be.... no heart attacks for me !!!!

Now the important stuff.....

FLEXING IN THE MIND GYM

One of my goals was to recognise my "binge" mode, the why, how, when etc etc. To do this I kept a food diary EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR 12 WEEKS !!!!, at the bottom of the page I would write how I felt emotionally, if I had cravings, how I felt physically etc etc. Although there is still a few binge thoughts that come through out of completely no where... I can so easily identify when I'm actually physically hungry over a craving, boredom eating, emotional eating, habitual eating etc etc etc.... I must admit I would take a whole day training in the gym over trying to train the mind !!!!

BUT I FREAKING DID IT !!!

I also delved into WHY I have this "keep eating, even when you feel sick", full blown, animalistic, crazy person binge mode where absolutely everything in the fridge and freezer would be under attack..... Well aside from the chemical reaction within the body/brain that I've found in the researching this amazing feat of eating I can do. I found that I seem to have "inherited" it from my Dad. Now I don't know if it's genetic, or whether I've adopted his all you can eat habit from seeing it as a child.... but alas, I've also got my Mum's will power so there's at least a balance... ;)

I've also changed as a person. I have so much more self confidence, self respect, drive, determination, self worth and so so much more....

Generally I've become a better version of myself, and even if I do say so myself, the best version of myself that I've ever been.

Where to go from here ??

Well I'm doing Round 3 so expect more updates. My goals in round 3 will certainly be less ambitious than this round, because I'm so very happy with how and who I am right now that I don't really want to change it all that much.

I've also inspired some friends and acquaintances to join, so I'll be in the next round as well to support them on their journey if they wish.... This has humbled me so so very much. There was no hard sell of the program, no preaching from a podium, just leading by example, quietly achieving, turning up to the gym every single day, eating/drinking mindfully and by sharing my amazing journey.... If you go to the photos section of my blog you'll find some after photos.... yes it's taken me a couple of days to grow a set to post them, but if it inspires just one single person to take a healthier road in their life and live a little longer for themselves, their family and children then strutting my stuff in a bikini seems a small price to pay...

So for right now I'm signing off.... But I'll be back next week of course... pre-season Round 3 starts and I'm excited !!!

OH HOW COULD I FORGET !!!

If anyone wants to get a taste of a workout from Mish.... This is mine for this Saturday... feel free to give it a go and let me know how you go !!!! It's a beauty !!!

300 x push ups
300 x reverse pull ups (basically lying under a barbell and pulling yourself up like a reverse of a push up....
300 x squats.....

Take as long as you need but don't give up because "today we do what others won't, so tomorrow we achieve what others can't".....

I also want to take this opportunity to thank

Krystal, Elle, SammyT, Collie, The Darwin Crew Facebook Team, The Lean & Strong Facebook Team, everyone in the forums, The Fernwood girls, Vanessa of Wicked NRG, 12wbt admin team (Gabi and Kelly esp) and ambassadors and Mish.....

I'm not going all mushy and long winded about it.... but thank you... from the bottom of my heart...


Monday 8 August 2011

Monday 8th August, 2011 (Week 12) Day 77

Well my empowered, amazing, strong and incredible feeling has turned into a strange emotional roller coaster ride in this last week. I'm happy that I've accomplished an amazing feat, worried I'll dip back into old habits, and I'm being really mean to myself and doubtful of my amazing results.... I'm not sure why but asking myself "have I done enough?", "could I have done better?", "Will Mish be proud of what I've done?", "Am I on par with everyone else?", etc etc

Now I've always been the logical level headed thinker and I know that I have indeed done enough as I am so so happy with my new healthy strong body so where is all this coming from ?? Are others in this final week feeling the same? Is it because this incredible journey is coming to a bit of an end ? And by end I mean this round, this new lifestyle will definitely continue and I've put my name down for another round so I can end the year on a nice high before Christmas...... my life is anew.... I'm not that crazy person anymore not really truly caring about my health...

So why am I stressed, anxious, worried, and basically just being a bit silly ??? Is the fear of success ??? Is it a strange feeling of "do I deserve this?".... Is it fear of change? Maybe I'm worried that now I've changed my healthy lifestyle then other things in my life are due to change too.....

Who knows...

But it's the eve of fitness tests, final weigh ins, final measurements, after photos..... and to be honest I'm a little scared that my after photos won't reflect the undying, unwavering, woman possessed training that I've been doing and my damn near angelic nutrition (even if I do say so myself)..... I guess we'll know in the next 48 hours hey.....

Food for thought..... Have you ever feared success/change ? Why? Was it worth the worry??? Did everything work out just fine in the end?.....

Well I know I'll be back to my effervescent self soon and be bouncing off the walls again delirious with happiness due to my achievements.... or at the least getting use to my new condensed version of my self :)

Thursday 4 August 2011

Thursday 4th August, 2011, Week 11, Day 74

Well another week down and only 1 more to go. I must say it's gone by quicker than I expected. I will put on a larger blog next week for the final weeks results but for now I've lost another 500gm this week, which of course, is a surprise considering Darwin Cup was a lovely excessive day..... good times...

Will write again soon.

XX

Darwin Cup Races Monday 1st August 2011