Well my empowered, amazing, strong and incredible feeling has turned into a strange emotional roller coaster ride in this last week. I'm happy that I've accomplished an amazing feat, worried I'll dip back into old habits, and I'm being really mean to myself and doubtful of my amazing results.... I'm not sure why but asking myself "have I done enough?", "could I have done better?", "Will Mish be proud of what I've done?", "Am I on par with everyone else?", etc etc
Now I've always been the logical level headed thinker and I know that I have indeed done enough as I am so so happy with my new healthy strong body so where is all this coming from ?? Are others in this final week feeling the same? Is it because this incredible journey is coming to a bit of an end ? And by end I mean this round, this new lifestyle will definitely continue and I've put my name down for another round so I can end the year on a nice high before Christmas...... my life is anew.... I'm not that crazy person anymore not really truly caring about my health...
So why am I stressed, anxious, worried, and basically just being a bit silly ??? Is the fear of success ??? Is it a strange feeling of "do I deserve this?".... Is it fear of change? Maybe I'm worried that now I've changed my healthy lifestyle then other things in my life are due to change too.....
Who knows...
But it's the eve of fitness tests, final weigh ins, final measurements, after photos..... and to be honest I'm a little scared that my after photos won't reflect the undying, unwavering, woman possessed training that I've been doing and my damn near angelic nutrition (even if I do say so myself)..... I guess we'll know in the next 48 hours hey.....
Food for thought..... Have you ever feared success/change ? Why? Was it worth the worry??? Did everything work out just fine in the end?.....
Well I know I'll be back to my effervescent self soon and be bouncing off the walls again delirious with happiness due to my achievements.... or at the least getting use to my new condensed version of my self :)
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